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Doctor, I keep having urges to cut the power cables.
Don't worry, it's just a phase

My son chewed on an electrical cord the other day.
So I had to ground him.
He was so upset he blew a fuse.
He’s doing better currently.

Two atoms are walking down the street,
one says to the other, "Wait, wait, we have to go back. I've lost an electron somewhere."
The second atom says, "Really? Are you sure?"
To which the first atom replies, "Yes. I'm positive."

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and you have their shoes.

Being right

I've decided that I am right 97% of the time.
So, I don't worry about the other 4% of the time.

Do not argue with idiots

They will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
It's like wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
When the police show up they cannot tell the difference.

Teach a pig to sing

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
- Robert A. Heinlein,

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

These electrical jokes are lame. Don’t you have some more current ones?

And there’s more

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